Papayas Are The World's Best Natural Laxative
by ComicMarshHero
Summary: there goes Scarlet again. up to her nonsense! what in the world is she going to do with a poor lil papaya this time? Wacky fun and laughter in store of you! ONESHOT


Papayas are the world's best natural laxative

Papayas are the world's best natural laxative

Hey. Back again. Now trying my one shots please read my first fiction. Exorcist go to school. Thanks. 

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"Kanda-san!" Scarlet yelled. "Look what I'm SELLING!!"

The long haired exorcist stared at her for a while and went back to eating his soba.

"oh common! It's a kind of food you like!" Scarlet nudged him.

"che"

"Hey!" she pouted "anyways. Like it or not I'm going to introduce it to you!!" she smiled. Then she pulled something out of her lunchbox.

"Presenting!" she yanked the gooey piece out. "Papaya Tempura!!"

Kanda choked in mid chew. "what?"

"weren't you listening? I said Papaya Tempura!" she raised the gooey piece up again.

Kanda stared at her. His eyes twitched. He tried to hold back any possible insults that were waiting to just spill out. But the best he could do was. "are you trying to disgrace my favourite food?" he said coldly

"no…" She whispered. She almost looked pitiful. Ok maybe a tad bit.

"who's going to buy that anyway?!" that sentence, which was supposed to deliver the final finishing blow to shoot her down was twisted, turned , shaped and broken when she said.

"all the finders had already bought a piece. Or even more." she counted her fingers "Even Allen-kun did!" she flashed a bright smile at him.

"Bean sprout?" he smirked "Scarlet. Not to say I observe him from afar but _everyone _knows that he only eats good food."

"he eats so fast he doesn't even look at his food" She challenged him. Kanda frowned. "and how did you even _manage _to sell _one _piece?!"

"Ahem." She started. "let's rewind the tape shall we? Comic-chan?"

"**You got that right"**

A screen popped up behind her and the film started rolling.

"ok. It all started like this." She plopped down on her chair.

"_hello everyone!" Scarlet leaped on one of the tables in the Finder's part of the canteen. "today I am introducing something new and special to you guys! __**Everyone **__is eating it!" she smiled widely at them._

"_what could that be?" a curious finder asked. _

"_ah. Good for you to ask!" she jumped off the table and walked to her chalkboard. "Introducing the Papaya Tempura!" the finder's gave her a disgusted look. "no no it's not that baaad….. in fact it's rather healthy!" the finders stared at her._

"_now that I have your attention, I can tell you the benefits of my products! It's healthy, like what I just told you. It's sweet and not as disgusting as you think it is! Plus eating it help you stay full longer! Get that extra load off!"_

"Stop the tape." Kanda help his hand up. The film paused.

"yes?" Scarlet stared at him innocently

"stay full longer?" Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"Um… I lied about that?" she reached for the remote.

"B…-"

"On with the tape!"

"_plus. It shows that 20 of the population in the black order eats it! It's practically a trend!" Scarlet earned some "ooo-es and ah-s" "I want some!" a finder finally shouted. "me too!" "no me!"_

_The next show showed the papaya tempura flying into Allen's food pile._

The End

Kanda stared.

"20 of the black order? A trend?" Kanda smirked. "lastly I must say. I pity Bean sprout."

"So you want one?" Scarlet nudged him.

"let me think. No." Kanda turned around to finish his soba.

"oh common!"

"GANGWAY! I NEED THE TOILET FAST!" A finder zoomed past them.

"NO ME FIRST!"

"FORGET IT ME!"

Kanda stared at the lot. Then back at Scarlet that was also staring at the lot.

"is this your doing?" Kanda stared at the toilets and swore he saw orange gas explode from it.

"Ano… Kanda-san…." Scarlet was wide eyed "Do you know that papayas are the worlds best natural laxatives?"

"ARGH I NEED THE TOILET TOO!!"

Allen ran past. Then Lavi stared running in the opposite direction. Saffy tagged along behind him.

"Saffy! Where are you going?!" Scarlet screamed after her sister.

"I don't know…" Saffy tried to slow the panicking Lavi down.

Lavi came to a screeching halt.

"you mean you don't know?" he whispered. His face drained of blood. "Allen eats a lot of food."

"everyone knows that usagi." Kanda said in a bored tone.

"that's not the point!" Lavi was back to his panic mode.

Everyone stared at him. He leaned in. and so did everyone ele.

" he likes _garlic_"

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This poses as a warning to all papaya lovers out there. Too much papaya might kill you!


End file.
